A Void

You know, when you loose a pet it seems that you have a big void in your life. The first cat I lost due to illness was very hard to get over. I should have taken time for myself instead of rushing off and getting another cat.
But I got one who had behavioral problems from day one. I was very attached to her also. Thats the one who recently had to be put down for kidney failure. I later found out that the vet tried to treat her but she kept pulling out the IV's. After she pulled out the fourth one they decided that they were not going to put her through anything else. She would have died an agonizing death if they hadn't put her down.
I also found out that before they got the kidney test results, they had sedated her to calm her down. Even after sedation, she sent one of the workers to the emergency room with five stitches from being scratched so severely.
She was tempermental with me, but I think that being in a new place and having all of the vet people touching her was just too much for her nerves. I don't agree that she was vicious. She was just terrified. There was no easy way around capturing her and put her in the carrier, then taking her to the vet. I wish I could have held her one last time. She deserved more than what she got.
She didn't have a fair shake of life as it was. Being in three different foster care families before I adopted her. Cats don't adjust well to change. She also was abused by her first owner, so that had to have had an effect on her trusting people. At least I was able to give her two years of hugs and kisses. And boy would she play. Of course I spoiled her with practically a new toy every month. She had this one toy that was a little bird. It chirped when you moved it. I would throw that toy across the floor. She'd grab it then bring it back to me. For hours she would do this. She also had her booboo. That was a round mouse that she carried with her when she was going to sleep or just anywhere she went. I made her a string toy that had a little bell on the end. She loved chasing that around the house.
So, I think she had a good life with me. But to die at 2 1/2 years old just isn't fair at all. I never got any pictures of her until one day I tried and my battery had died in my camera. But then, my friends were arriving in just a few minutes to take her to their vet then their house. I was giving her to them because Butter would only stay in the closet day in and day out. She stopped playing and wasn't interested in anything anymore. Plus, she kept turning on me, scratching me making sores on my arms, legs and hands. I thought she would be happier with a house full of cats and a small dog. Little did I know that she was in kidney failure.
Now, I'm taking the time for myself. No more pets for awhile. Since she has been gone I have felt like I needed to be doing something at night like cleaning out her litter box for the second time in the day or changing her water dish.
Maybe I'll get a little dog next. Who knows...