Surgery Day

I hate it that my Dad is in alot of pain right now. He had his second surgery this morning and his hand is wrapped up from his fingers to his elbow. Mother called and said that the medications he was given to be put asleep for surgery and a pain medication has resulted in waves of nausea. She has to pack his hand with ice every twenty minutes for the first 24/hrs.
I just don't like anyone who I love to be in discomfort. I'm gonna be going to see him tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll bring him a sweet treat or something. At least I'll be able to see him.
I've been quite lazy today. From how my day went yesterday, I'm just catching up on chores. Of course, my cat is asleep. She normally sleeps 12 to 17 hours a day and is up all night.
I was craving a hamburger so bad earlier today, but I stayed with my chicken and vegetables. I go back to the library tomorrow. I'm volunteering on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.
I like to volunteer because it makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile.
The weekend will be on us soon. I hope everyone has a good 4th. of July. Remember in Birmingham we have fireworks at Vulcan park called Thunder on the Mountain. Everything starts at 9pm. Also if you can't get to the park, then Fox6 shows it on TV. That's what I'm going to be doing.

Busy

I had a fun filled day today. I got up early to run errands, then I went to the library. Helped out a little. Went to get my car serviced. Then went back to the library this afternoon. I like having something to do because it makes the day go by faster. My kitty has been completely neglected today. When I got home this afternoon, she was glued to my ankles.
So I had to pick her up, cuddle awhile, pet her chin, ears and belly, then she wanted to be held again. So, I ended up walking around the house doing chores with her hanging out on my shoulder. She has really turned out to be a cuddler. She's back to sleep in her cat bed.
Oh, kitty kitty.

Early Breakfast

I met my good friends from Jasper early this morning at Cracker Barrel. We usually meet at lunch when their in town for Deb's doctors appointments, but due to the incoming weather today we met in the morning. I am paying for my breakfast. My blood sugar is high. I had french toast with syrup. I was real sparse with the syrup, and most of it was just the bread. Ohh.. I was in heaven. It was so good. Once in a blue moon won't hurt me. I can just feel the sugar rushing through my veins.
It was Deb's Birthday this week, so I gave her something of my grandmothers that I have been saving for just an occasion just like this. She loved it. It meant something to her because it meant something to me.
Deb's alot like me. And I have grown so fond of her husband as well.
The volunteering went well yesterday and I think I'm gonna enjoy this summer. Who knows what this will lead to.
Well I'm off to do my chores. Until tomorrow...

I Swear

I think I was a little hard on that guy who got in front of me at the grocery store. Now that I think of it, I didn't accept his apology. I think my reasoning was that I was trying to make a point. It might have come across as negative. Well, you learn from yourself all the time.
Today. Today I'm going to be volunteering at a new location. I'll be at one of the local libraries. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'll be working with kids in a reading program. The library sponsors a  group of children for a day camp in the summer time. This is one of my steps that I am doing to get reconnected with people. I tell my sister all the time that I have not been isolating myself, but in a way I have. Maybe this will lead to a more permanent position. Who knows?
Again, I never thought of myself living in a "bubble." It's so easy to hide and get accustomed to me and my cat and a few good friends. I think by getting out around people my confidence will improve too.
It's all good. Good move. I'm optimistic about my future and where this will take me.

What?

Have you ever noticed how rude people can be in line waiting to check out at the grocery store? Or in line anywhere else? Well this morning I was at the grocery store, waiting patiently in line when this man walks up and pushes his way to the next in line, which was in front of me. He only had one item to buy, but still. I calmly told him that the line started three people behind me. He turned around without any hesitation and said he would only be a minute and besides I had alot to check out and he was in a hurry.
The old me would have raised kane over this but I just said ok and simply said to him that the next time he's in line waiting and someone brakes in line in front of him he needs to remember this day.He just looked at me.
I went on about my business and saw this man in the parking lot. He walked over to apologize for his rudeness and I simply said "I thought you were in  a hurry?" He then drove off.
Sometimes when you want to lash out, it's better to just let it go because it's not worth it. Maybe he'll think of this one day and not brake in line again.

Today was a good day

I had a good day today. I saved up my calorie count and went to this chinese place to eat with one of my good friends. I had mongolian beef with an egg role. It was so good that I wanted to come home and take a nap. But I didn't. I walked it off going to a few places to shop around.
The company was nice too. I went today with one of my oldest friends for 28/yrs. We talked about people that have been in our lives and guys we dated in the past and about all the fun times we've always had. It was nice to remember the old times.
We the went to two of my favorite places, Big Lots and The Dollar Tree. These are both discounted stores that I feel that whatever I buy there, I'm saving money. But today I didn't buy anything.
We then came back to my home and talked some more. So we had the "quality" time we needed.
Tomorrow is cleaning day for me. It's good that I will be home cause the heat outside today was almost unbearable. But as the news has said, the heat is gonna be around for awhile.

A Bad Topic

On the news yesterday, I saw a story that completely astonished me. This mother of three left her two children ages 5 and 2 at a shell station off of a highway, then carried her 9/mos old with her to the hwy. and gave her baby to a passing driver in a car. She said that she had to save the world. She then took off into some woods, stripped naked and left. Of course, she was caught and arrested, a mental evaluation to follow.
You see horrible stories of child abuse and neglect all the time. And people murdering their children. I think the average person has to wonder what goes on in these peoples minds to commit any crime against a child. I think these people are pure evil. You can't rehabilitate these kind of monsters. Especially those who a child molesters. I know this is a gruesome subject, but it seems to me that these people get so many chances in their life to "get better."
Thats whats wrong with this society. Criminals have more rights than victims.
Sorry, I've brought up the ugly side of violence. I just get tired of seeing all of this on the news. It's everywhere. We need to make stricter laws to protect the innocence of these children. And not allow the offenders to freely roam our streets. There's are show on TV thats called "to catch a predator." If you are concerned about this subject, thats a good example of these people preying on children. Most of the people arrested on this show were repeat offenders. That says alot about our judicial systems.
Again, sorry for such a harsh subject today. I think sometimes these things need to be addressed.

Oh great.

Well I have to retype my entire entry today. For some reason I was knocked out of the website when I tried to publish my entry. Well, here it goes:
I am now experiencing menapause. My sleep patterns have really gotten bad. I am not comfortable and am really hot at night. My cycle is off by weeks now. I finally got my cycle yesterday and I've had to go back to the store this morning to get more supplies. It's like I'm having two cycles at once. These hot flashes are coming at all times during the day. I'm retaining alot of water in my body. Thank goodness my appetite has not gotten more. Thats all I need to gain weight,because it's bad for the diabetes.
Oh yipee, my 40's are turning out to be fun.
My sister and mother started in menapause in their early 40's as well. My mother told me that hers wasn't that bad. So maybe mine won't be bad either or last long for that matter. But I have heard, some women have it for years. Ohh. I hope that isn't going to be me.

Blogging

You know I wonder sometimes if it is worth it to blog. I look and see that I only have one follower. Maybe that might motivate me not to blog, but I have found that it's been fun blogging. Its sort of like an online journal. I know that most of my entries are boring and about my day to day life.
I try to make it interesting, but my blog is just out of thousands of people who feel that their moments,events and thoughts should be shared. Whats funny is that I have always been a private person. When I started blogging, I wasn't really comfortable to talk about me. As I have graduated to over 230 blogs, I feel blessed to have a way to share my thoughts  and feelings with others.
It's like a show on TV about nothing. I think that was an episode on Seinfeld. I was a die hard Seinfeld fan.
Now I watch that goofy show, That 70's show.
Anyway, I'll try to keep picking topics that are entertaining or at least interesting. But I may still talk about my life as a single, diabetic, unemployed, 40 ish, bright woman that lives with a cat in a two room condo. Boy that was a mouth full!!!!

Kitty

My cat did the funniest thing this morning. I couldn't find her and I thought for an instant she had gotten out. But then when I was looking in my dirty clothes pile, I noticed a pillow case moving. She had crawled into the pillow case and was asleep. It was sooo cute.
She's always getting into things. My other cat that died last year, never ventured into any spaces that were dark or secluded. But this cat does. She still runs from me sometimes, but in general I think she has adjusted quite well. I adopted her from a rescue center for cats. She had been abused from her previous owner and was very shy when I got her. It took her about three weeks to come out from underneath the bed and another six months or so to let me pick her up.
She now loves her belly to be rubbed,she tolerates her kisses from me and she plays constantly. That cat has more toys. She has a bad habit of chewing on things and just chewed up a new bookmark of mine yesterday. I bought her a cat bed about a month ago and thats where she sleeps most of the time. It's in the den underneath a coffee table. She brings me so much joy. I'm so glad I have her.
At first she was so hard to handle that I speculated in giving her back. But I'm glad I stuck it out. Plus, she rules the roost. I think she's happy. One of the cutest things that happen is: whenever I leave the house and come back, she's puts her little paws up on my legs for me to hold her. So, I guess she does miss me when I'm gone. I think everyone should have a pet,because they give you unconditional love. They always brighten your day too

Dad

Well the dinner for Dad went off without a hitch. Of course, the food was great. My sister can really cook. It was fun playing with the new puppy, laughing about old stories and hanging out with my family.
Dad seems to have enjoyed it all. He brought with him world class wines from his wine cellar.
The house looked beautiful, nothing out of place. It reminds me of how much space I had in my old apartment before I bought my condo.
As I think of it, I only really have two rooms in my condo. I miss having more space. Maybe one day I'll sell my condo and go back to apartment living. I've had too many bad memories where I am right now. My sister and I were talking about just that and she understands why I feel the way I do.
There was a time when owning something meant a sense of accomplishment to me,but now it's not that important. My Dad always has said that you have to be happy where you are and to not settle for anything.
I've settled, but not for long.
Have a good week everyone!

TY very much

Thank you very much! Said this 5 yr. old in the grocery store this week. He dropped his toy and I gave it back to him. He was dressed in this little suit and white shoes. He looked like a tiny man, but no he had his mom with him and she said he was 5/yrs. old.
Kids are so funny. Not having a child of my own [ which I regret ] it's nice to see kids with manners. Even at that age. It says alot of the parents.
Today has been a lazy day. I have watched a bunch of movies and washed clothes. Woopee!!! At this point I'm used to being by myself. I do try to make plans, but it seems like everyone are busy all the time.
We are planning a nice dinner for my Dad for tomorrow. We're all meeting at my sisters house.
It's always nice to see the family. I think we get together every holiday and Birthday. Well except for my brothers and sisters Birthdays. They usually don't celebrate. But I wonder about my sister this year because she'll be 50/yrs. old. I think we should all meet at highlands or something. Or even do something at my parents like a cookout. My nephew will be 16/yrs old this year. So maybe we can celebrate for both of them at the same time.
I always love to celebrate my Birthdays because thats your special day. My mother always makes me what I want cause we usually have it at my parents.
I was bad today. I ate potato chips with a sandwich today. My blood sugar will probably be really high tomorrow. Well it shouldn't hurt me to do that once in awhile.
Well thats about all my news for the day. Have a good weekend.

Storm

Boy, we had some bad storms pass through last night. My cable has been out since then. Thanks goodness I shut down my computer yesterday instead of putting it in the sleep mode because our power went out about four to five times. Thats all I need is to have a bum computer.
Not much going on today. No plans.
I tried to reach a friend of mine yesterday to see if she wanted to get out this weekend, but no luck.
It seems that everyone I know has plans made every weekend from the prior weekend. I may hop over to my sisters to visit the new puppy they just got. Or I may just stay home. I know it's going to be another scorching day outside today. I don't even think summer has officially began. We had the upper 90's for about three weeks now. It's probably going to be like this for a long time.
I could call this male friend of mine to see whats going on, but I don't want to put up with his constant desire to go out with me. He's a guy that I grew up with and dated at one time. Whats the phrase? He's not a keeper. So I better leave that alone. I am going to look up the new entry's on the NGAGE website. I would recommend that whoever is reading my blog to do that. It always has lots of helpful information in this area. Well thats about all my news.
Stay cool!

Silence

All is quiet; all is still. All that remains are the gray clouds descending on this mystical mirage....
That's from a poem I wrote about ten years ago. I don't write much anymore. I used to be motivated by life's experiences long ago to write. But now, I just go by day to day with little magic. Magic that made my writings come to life.
This is sad. Because I used to find humor is just about anything. I think when you get older you don't find the same things funny anymore. Maybe it's just me not being inspired.
I remember I used to go to the museum, parks and the botanical gardens to find inspiration. I used to be more interested in the world around me. Somewhere I lost that. But I know I can find that again, someday.
I have a little garden outside my patio. Each spring I plant something, watch it grow and feel that life has sprouted it's wings.
I know by getting out more, I'll be able to reconnect as I did before.
I firmly believe that inspiration is a renewal of life and all things around you. You must stay focused
with the magic of your life.

Home is quiet

yea, I'm staying home today. I have been gone during the days for about five days, so it's nice to get caught up with chores. My nephew comes home from camp today. Boy, he's gonna be surprised with the new puppy at home. He's just going to love her.
I think my cat feels alittle rejected. She's been all lovey dovey with me since last night. This is not usual for her. So, I've made it a point to give her lots of attention today.
I heard from my friend in Jasper which was nice. And I also talked with another friend that I don't get to see much. I value my friends and am blessed to have them in my life.
Got to do alot of chores today, so I'll be off.
Stay cool in this hot weather!

Puppy day

Today I helped my sister by puppy sitting. Boy, that baby wore me out. We finally got this large crate. We put her bed in it, food and water then newspaper so she can go to the bathroom when she needs to. I was going to be over there tomorrow to watch her, but my sister is just going to put her in this crate while she's gone tomorrow.
This dog is soo cute. She was bouncey, cuddly and playful all day. She has this sock monkey that she just pulled along with her. She loves this pink rubber bone too. She's got so many toys just after one day there. I know she's gonna be spoiled.
My nephew doesn't know yet about her because he's been at camp this past 10 days. I would love to be a fly on the wall when he sees her for the first time.
They fun, but alot of hard work. I'm glad my cat can take care of herself all day without needing constant attention.
But puppys rule and dogs druel. Or I might say cats rule and dogs druel. Yea, I think thats it.

Puppy Power!!!

I went with my sister today to northport, Al. by Tuscaloosa to get a new puppy. She's a tea cup yorkie. Ohhhh she is just divine. She's weighs 1 1/2 pounds. She's black and brown. She is really alert and boucey. It's so cute she waddles when she walks. She is 11 weeks old. Her name is Isabella.
Oh I smell puppy!! She's just adorable. The people that bred this dog were really nice. They breed all toy dogs. So we got to see alot of them.
I would love to have a new puppy too, but it's a huge job. No thanks. Thats why I love cats because they are self sufficient.
Anyway, this puppy is a cutie!

A New Day

Today has started to be an early day for me. I was up early, went to the grocery store and straightened up my bedroom all before 8am.
I have decided that today will be a new start for me. I'm not going to wallow in depression from what happened yesterday.
I have to think that today is the present and yesterday is the past.
As my father said, she did you wrong. I have to continue to believe in myself and not feel sorry for myself.
I am looking forward to see what the future brings me.

Heartbreak

Today is a day that I don't think I will ever forget. I got the devastating news today that I am no longer friends with someone that I thought our friendship would last a lifetime. It hurt me beyond words could say. I had grown so close to the person and thought we had the best friendship, but in reality it was just a lie. This person does not want to be around me anymore and doesn't want to be friends.
When things like this happens, it's like having your arm cut off or someone dying. I have had a few hours to digest this and I can see her point of view somewhat, but I think that the way she brought it to the table was wrong.
When I told my family, my parents and sister they agreed with me that it was cruel. Basically our friendship was based on proximity.  She never wanted to be friends with someone like that. She's told me this before. I didn't see any of this happening. It was like the old saying, "it came from left field."
Since I care so deeply for our friendship, I think it will just take time to process this and move forward.
I will miss her.

Friday

I was suppose to go to Atlanta with my sister today but that was changed. So, I'm going to go to my parents house to see my Dad. Since I don't get to see him very often, I'm going to spend a couple of hours with him. As I blogged about it yesterday, he just had surgery.
My brother took him to his doctor this morning and to also go to physical therapy. I'll swing by there late this morning.
Don't you hate it when you try to reach friends and they don't call you back. I have a friend that lives and works in town. I think I have left 4 to 5 messages for her and she still doesn't return my phone calls. I know she's busy, but thats ridiculous. So, when I go to my parents house today, I'm gonna swing by her place of business and then she'll have to talk to me. I know that may sound like be pushy, but it's the principle of the matter. Plus, I've had her Birthday gift for two months now.
Well that my news. Oh and I did get my filing system done yesterday after months of putting it off.
Happy Friday!!

Surgery Day

Well today my Dad had his first of two surgery's. When I talked to my mother about an hour ago, she said that it went real well. He's home now and the doctor said that for the first three days, he will be in alot of pain. The pain should get better. Of course he will have to learn how to use his left hand for the next six weeks.
My mother is feeling better too. It's tough when older people get sick, because it takes them longer to recover. I'll visit my Dad tomorrow when he's had more sleep.
I plan on working on my filing system again today. I have about eight drawers full of paperwork to go through. Of course I'll keep all of my taxes, but everything else can go I think.
It's going to be another hot day today, so I'm going to stay indoors.
Well thats about all my news today.
Just one more day til Friday!!!

Sickness

My mother has been really sick this past week. I thought last night that she was going to go to the hospital by the way my Dad was describing her condition. My Dad did call this morning to say that she her lungs sounded better today. But we still might take her to get a chest xray sometime this week.
I'm also on standby to possibly take my Dad on Thursday to get the first of two surgery's done.
I'm alittle concerned about catching this bronchitis that my mother has. I'm used to getting germs easily since I have been diagnosed with diabetes. But if she needs me, I'm there.
I've had the sniffles for a couple of days, so hopefully it's just a cold.
For the past couple of month I haven't contracted any bugs because I have been taking a dose of vitamin C. At least I think it's because of that. I always drink plenty of fluids and exercise daily.
But you know better than me, that if a germ is out there, there's a higher percentage that you'll get it.
But so far, I've been pretty healthy.

Monday

I really don't have much to talk about today. I'm home cleaning and organizing my filing system. I try to keep busy, but it's a struggle. When you don't work, it seems that the days just creep by. I have errands to run at times, but mostly I keep to myself and try to fill each day with something constructive.

I have had something on my mind lately. Do you ever feel that you know someone and only find out that their not the person you think they are?

There's always that question in the back of your mind, why are they acting like this? I think my biggest issue is trusting people. It's very hard for me to put caution in the wind and just go for it. I've had too many people disappoint me that I'm uncomfortable when I think something is going on. I always try to please people too, even if I'm not happy.

I've always thought of my friends as my family, but sometimes thats just not enough. I have grown closer to my  biological family and I feel very lucky to have them in my life.

Call it nervousness. I don't know what it is. 

I guess I just want everything to be alright all the time. When it's not, it just throws me for the loop. I can't get it out of my mind. I have to practice getting over things and moving forward.

What to do

What to do, what to do. I have been inside for the last three days because of the heat. I've watched movies, played games and painted. My sister bought me this painting kit for Christmas. I've know painted two pictures and they both look like a 1st. grader did them. I am not artistic by any means, but I try. Even with my blinds down on my patio and my curtains closed I can still feel the heat outside. Everyones electric bill is going to be huge this month.
I have another friend who has much more severe medical problems than me. This heat is now effecting her breathing. It's all unseasonable right now. It make me wonder how the summer months are going to be. All we can do is just hunker down and try to stay cool. I know that I keep blogging about the hot weather, but this is ridiculous.
I did get out about 5:30am this morning and drank my coffee on my patio. I even tried walking this morning but it was already up to 89 degrees by 7am. So, it was back in the house. Until I thought I could go to my parents house to visit. I'll be in the car with the air conditioning and I'll be just fine. So, I went a nd found my mother sick with something ugly. So, I came back home. Maybe I'll get to have an adventure somewhere this week. Who knows?

Saturday the 4th.

Well today was the day that my friend and I were going to Jasper, Al. to see some other friends of mine. My friend who lives in Jasper with her husband has kidney disease. Since the weather has been outragiously hot, the trip has been postponed until fall. Both my friend here and friend in Jasper and myself all have issues with the heat.
I hope my power bill is not going to be bad this month because I have been running my AC all day practically. AMC is running all of John Wayne's movies today, so that will give me something to do. I'm running out of things to do inside.
I blogged about loosing my volunteer job last week because of the heat. I think I will be helping my sister make ngage bracelets next week. Just gotta keep busy.
I have a feeling that this summer is going to have scorching heat. I just have to remember to hydrate myself everyday.
Thats about the news for the day.
Keep cool!

Yummy

I went to lunch today with a friend and we had chinese food. I don't eat this very often. I had mongolian beef with hot and sour soup. It was soo yummy. But I paid for it later with major heartburn. I'm sure there were alot of calories too. Thats why I don't eat it often.
But I did have some lousey mahi mahi fish last night. I think it was old. It tasted old. I also had green beans and cabbage with it. So, at least that was a healthy meal.
You know it's so hard when you have diabetes to eat right when you go out for meals. I try to stay in the fish, chicken or vegees stuff. But sometimes I eat beef like I did today. So, the magic of this is to drink plenty of water afterwards.
Since bananas are on the naughty list for me, I eat lots of apples. I put alittle bit of peanut butter on it and poof I've got a nice dessert. You can also buy, no sugar added canned pears and peaches which are good over cottage cheese.
Bread is also a no no for me, but occasionally I'll have a crescent roll and put a piece of turkey or chicken on it. Thats really good too.
So, it's become easy to eat happy when you have diabetes. Luckily I love yogart. I have that almost weekly for a snack. The only good thing about hot weather is that it curves my appetite. You're not as hungry in the summer months as you are in the winter. I don't know about you, but the last thing I want on my tummy in the hot months is alot of food. It makes me tired.

Thursday

I had to give up my volunteering with the relief effort. Due to medical problems I can not work in the Salvation Army's warehouse anymore. I feel bad, because I feel like I let them down. But since I have anhydrosis along with diabetes it's too dangerous for me to be working out in this heat.
But come fall, I'll be volunteering again. Maybe they'll still need people to help during that time. The news said that it will takes months for the cities effected by the tornados to be in a normal state.
I am still volunteering somewhat at the wildlife center,so that gives me something to do.
It's going to be a scorcher again today. With a heat index of 105 and the temperature of 98. When you go outside it feels like you're walking into an oven. No air is circulating. I'm sure the elderly are really effected by this heat too. If I knew any older people around me, I would be checking on them.
Even when I take my walks at 5:30am, I'm hot. At 7am this morning it was already 89 degrees.
I'm much more active in the winter months. In the summer, I am very limited to what I can do especially outside. Well thats about all my news for the day.
Stay cool!

Heat Exhaustion

You know, it is so hot right now. At 10am it's already 80 degrees. It's suppose to get up to 97 degrees today with a heat index of 100. Yesterday, I volunteered at the Salvation Army's warehouse for the storm relief project. I got so hot that I threw up.
I told the volunteer coordinator that due to health reasons I wouldn't be able to volunteer anymore while it is still hot. I have always had this condition where I don't sweat, except for the top of my head. So I get too hot too soon. Also, my Dad told me that it may effect my diabetes if I get too over heated.
I feel bad that I won't be able to help in the relief effort anymore, but I figure they have enough volunteers right now. I'm also limited to helping out at the wildlife center. I have to work indoors and not outside with the wildlife in the summer time. It gets to be a nuisance, but when this happens to me it's also hard to breathe.
I feel sorry for those that work outside year round. I have a friend that has his own lawn care service and he works early in the morning and then late in the afternoon.
Everyone just needs to make sure they hydrate themselves and be careful this time of year.