Well, I had a big response from my family regarding my last blog. I can see their worry and the fact that they are very concerned with my health. If I didn't want to be accountable for myself,then I wouldn't have blogged. I know they love me and want only the best for me,but right now I just need support rather than lectures. I know that I have slipped back into an unhealthy habit,I also know that the more I eat the more my body will deteriorate.
I think that the biggest revelation in all of this is that I have to watch what I eat forever. I just can't loose weight for a certain time period. I have to always be careful. Thats sort of overwhelming. Forever.... Thats a huge time frame.
My friends just don't understand. Their  not slim by any means themselves, but they always bring food over,eat out almost every meal and can't understand why I can't go out for  burger or a beer. I can't beleive that they are not diabetics.
I actually fooled myself into thinking that if I stayed active,walked or did cardio work everyday then it would be fine if I ate what I wanted to.
Nope. These are hard lessons to learn especially coming from a binge eater.
I know that I am not going to get a favorable report from my doctor this coming September. I go and get my blood work in the middle of August. Thats a consequence.
I do want to get married,be healthy and happy. It's just hard when I'm dissappointed with myself then to  hear it all again from other people.
I just have to pick myself up again and go on.

I had a good tip on a job. I volunteer at Alabama's wildlife center and the park had an opening to work in their information center. So yesterday, I filled out an application.
I have started back on my weight program 100%. Before I was just following it during the week,but on the weekend I would eat what I wanted to. This resulted in my blood sugars fasting levels to be over 150.
What I didn't realize that higher blood glucose levels will result in higher A1C levels.
So I'm sure the next measurements will be higher. My father told me of this. So, since I've worked soo hard to keep my A1C levels down, I decided that all the extra pleasure of eating is just not worth it. I also have to be honest with myself. It's so easy to slide into bad habits again.
I've learned that being a diabetic means you have to always will alert to what you put in your mouth sort of being accountable to food. Cause blood sugars don't lie.
Butter is doing better,but she's keeping me up half the night playing. She's running and jumping on the bed with her toys. Now I've learned to take her toys away from her. I tried this last night and she ended up settling down. She's still a kitten,so she can learn when lights go out,it's time to sleep.

I have noticed that Bella answers to Butter instead.  So, since her name was Butterball for 7/mos., I quess thats what I'll be calling her. I had one nibble on the jobline. I went to fill out an application this week for an account coordinator. It's a company that does advertisments for non-profits. They should be calling next week. It has been boiling hot here these past few weeks. Today,I believe is going to reach 99 degrees with a heat index of 105. My family has been on vacation at the beach this week and they told me that it has been real hot there too. It's been difficult for me to volunteer this week because of the heat. My blood sugars have been alittle higher due to that fact that I'm eating dinner past 5pm. I'm trying to get on a "normal" schedule with meal time since I will be working again,I hope. Gotta look online for jobs. Talk to you later...

Bella

I've noticed that whenever I have friends or neighbors stopping by, thats when Bella poops on the floor instead of her litter box. I did do some research on line about this and it was written that they are marking their territory. So it's a slow process.
We've had alot of birds that have been knocked out of their nests lately at the wildlife center. Alot of baby birds. We've also had alot of squirrels too.
 I'm still looking for some nibbles on line for job postings. I thought this one company that I had been talking to was interested in meeting me,but I haven't heard from them all week. I think I'll call them today.
 Have you ever had friends that you knew in the past just up and call you. After years of not keeping in touch? Thats weird. I've recently had two friends. One, a guy I grew up with whose continued to call. And the other an old best friend whom I have sent Christmas cards to these past 10/yrs.
Bella's nuzzling up to my feet right now and she just swatted at me. I quess she's playing,who knows...
Gotta go volunteer.

I think it's going to be and up and down process with my kitten. She's still hissing and biting. I have to keep reminding myself that she is a rescue kitty and was abused. I have to continue to take more time with her. Boy, is it hot outside.
I volunteered this morning and had to work outside. It felt like it was 120 degrees outside this morning. With this extra weight I'm carrying and the fact that I have anhydrosis [no sweat glands except for my head] it's a small task to be outside.
 I was out gardening yesterday and I discovered I have a bad ant problem. Ant hills throughout my plants.Any ideas? I just hope they don't work their way into my home. With this hot weather I have also noticed that the rodants are out and about. I saw a raccoon and a opossum out these past couple of days. They both have been in my bird feeder.
I found this excellent virus scanner called AVG. There's a free addition that you can download. The only drawback is that it slows down your speed while on online. But I would still recommend it to anyone.

It's a new breakthrough. Bella starting rubbing on my leg and I bent down and petted her. Then when I sat on the floor, she laid next to me and let me pet her all over. This is the first time that she hasn't hissed at me or swated at me. Maybe we will have a bond afterall.
I found out this morning while I went out to walk, that I do have a new neighbor,whose just gotten a divorce. He's moved into the condo that is behind me. This is the same one I was admiring the other day. It's good that he is single.
I just looked over and saw Bella using her litter box again. Maybe it was a one time occurance with the poop on the floor. Gotta go feed her. Talk later.

Last night and this morning Bella gave me some real trouble. First off, she started swating at my ankles then she pooped on the carpet in the bedroom. This morning she bit me. She has been showing signs of aggression by hissing at me and charging me. I went and bought some new litter and also swung by the pet store and got this product called Pet Block.
It's suppose to keep your animal from doing unwanted behaviors,like tearing up the furniture, spraying,etc. I sprayed it on the furniture and also where she had pooped on the floor. I also started spraying her with a squirt bottle when she does these things. I started that today.
So far, she hasn't sharpened her claws on the furniture today. I also bought two scratch pads for her. I hope that the pooping on the floor was a one time occurance. Otherwise that will be a mess. I haven't tried to pet her today because I simply didn't know what she would do.
I told my sister, that I think I'm comparing her to my other cat Molly. Which I see now that thats not fair to Bella or me. Hopefully she'll break these bad habits.

Hello there. I'm still looking for a job. Or should I say a life. Hehaw!!! No seriously, I've had a few nibbles,so we'll see what happens. Even though I miss Molly,my old cat, I decided to get another one. I went to a shelter called Save our Strays and found a 7/mos old kitten. She had been thrown from a moving car at 5/wks old . She had also been through 3 different foster cares which had resulted her being extremely shy. But I decided to adopt her anyway. She's a orange tabby and her name is Butterball. They told me that they named her Butterball because at 5/wks she was round and fluffy and she reminded them of a Butterball turkey. Since I have had her I have been calling her Bella. I will tell you that I have never seen such a shy cat before. I've had her for two weeks and she has just now been couragous enough to wonder around the house and play. She did let me pet her finally last night,but just for a moment. She's still not sure of me. So I'm learning patience. My blood sugars have been fine. But I have learned most recently that diabetics should have no deserts containing real sugar. I had gone to a birthday party for one of my friends and I had a chocolate cupcake. OOOhhh. it was sooooo good. I hadn't had anything like that for so long. Anyway, my blood sugar was 166 the next morning,thats after my insulin injection and my oral medication that I take. I don't think it would hurt to "occasionally" do that,but definately not everyday. Although I've been diagnosed with diabetes for 8/mos now, it's still learning curve. I'm still volunteering at the wildlife center. The other day I was helping to handle a raptor and I accidentally spranged my wrist. You wouldn't believe how strong those birds are. One funny thing that happened the other day,I met a really cute guy at the mailbox to my condo bldg. It's funny that my tastes in men has changed to salt and pepper gray hair. I guess when you get older your're attracted to older looking men. I'll be lucky if I marry at 50. Hehaw!!!! Well gotta feed Bella. Talk later.